When To Fear The Living Read online

  “It doesn’t,” Miles said quietly. I looked up to meet his warm gaze. “I can see why you love tattoos. You practice every day, every chance you get. I think you won’t have a problem getting an apprenticeship.”

  I smiled. “Thanks, hon.” I eyed him. “So, Astrophysics,” I said. He chuckled softly.

  “Yeah,” He sounded embarrassed.

  “Your turn,” I said. He squirmed. “What is it about Astrophysics?” I asked. He sighed then leaned on his forearms on the table and met my eyes.

  “It started with Astronomy,” He began in his silky timber. “When I was a little kid I was fascinated by planets, stars, and galaxies. I read everything I could get my hands on. As I got older, I became more fascinated by the fact that we can figure out why planets move the way they do, that we can figure out and theorize why stars are formed. It’s basically you’re trying to understand the universe and our place in it.” I rested my chin on my hand as I listened. “It’s immensely vast, and there’s so much out there that we don’t understand. But it all follows rules that we haven’t completely figured out yet...” Miles' eyes met mine as he trailed off. “And now you’re bored out of your mind,”

  “No, I’m not,” I assured him. “I like hearing you talk about it. You get excited.” His cheeks tinged pink.

  “The guys usually stop me around the five-minute mark,” He admitted. I gave him a small smile.

  “Talk all you want,” I said softly. “Tell me something I don’t know about. In layman terms.”

  He smiled that smile again as he started talking. The longer he spoke, the more animated he became. He told me about the recent discovery of seven new planets, like earth, about forty light-years away from us. What it means that they are all in the habitable zone near a star. I listened and fell a little harder for him, I didn’t bother trying to fight it this time.

  Fifteen minutes later, the waitress came with the check in its black holder. I reached for my wallet to pay my half but Miles snagged the check.

  “Miles,” I warned.

  “Lexie,” He replied as he pulled out his wallet and put a couple of twenties into the holder.

  “You bought the tickets,” I reminded him. “Let me buy dinner.”

  “No,” He said instantly. He put the holder back on the table.

  “I want to pay my half,” I tried again.

  “Lexie, I’m rich,” He reminded me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “I don’t care,” I countered. A slow smile spread across his face.

  “I know,” He said, quietly. “But I can’t let a girl pay for dinner. It’s not in me.”

  “It’s really easy,” I tried again. I pointed over his shoulder. “You look that way, and I’ll pay the check while you’re not looking.” He spotted my fingers getting closer to the check. He grabbed the check, got up then went straight to the cashier and paid before I could do more than get out of my side of the booth. I grabbed my jacket and walked up behind him. I pinched his waist.

  “Cheater,” I hissed. He looked over his shoulder to smile down at me.

  “You started it,” He reminded me. I wrinkled my nose at him.

  “You two are such a cute couple,” The cashier said. My face caught fire as I stepped back from Miles. Was I flirting too much? Shit, I had to rein it in.

  “Um, we’re just friends,” I told her. She looked at me with a doubtful look. I busied myself with pulling on my coat while Miles got his change and thanked the waitress. When we got outside my face had cooled off some, though Miles’ ears were still pink.

  “The play is going to start soon, we should, uh, head over to the campus,” Miles suggested stiffly. His shoulders were tense as we walked to his car, I instantly missed relaxed Miles.

  The campus was beautiful, snow covered trees and pathways. After the play, we walked down a wide tree-lined walk toward a large bear statue in the middle of what seemed like a large lawn courtyard. It had taken half the first act but Miles had eventually relaxed again sitting next to me in the theater. I looked around the pathway. The street lights looked Victorian, but they were modern. The yellow light was glowing against the snow. I didn’t have to be home anytime soon, so we looked around the campus.

  “What did you think of the play?” Miles asked. I smiled as I stepped up onto the edge of the snow covered lower ledge of the statue. It looked like there were flowers here in the summer, but now they were just snow piles.

  “I really liked it,” I said as I started walking along the lower rim. Miles kept pace with me still on the paving stones. “It was funny. I didn’t expect that from Shakespeare,” I admitted.

  “He didn’t always write tragedies,” Miles told me.

  “Just the ones that my English teacher makes us read,” I grumbled. He chuckled. “There was one part I really enjoyed.”

  “Which one?” He asked. I followed the ledge around the flowerbed. Miles was still right next to me.

  “When Puck messed up, and everyone saw things from their rival’s point of view,” I smiled looking over at him. On the ledge, I was only an inch taller than him. It was odd. “They realized it sucked,” I added. He chuckled.

  “I always liked that part too,” He admitted. My shoe touched the ice and I started losing my balance. Miles' hand reached up to grab mine, giving me steady support so I could keep my balance. I stepped over the ice and kept going. Miles kept his hand held up in mine just in case I slipped again. I smiled my thanks as he continued. “Everyone got a deeper understanding of the other’s situation, how it really wasn’t as great as it seemed on the outside.”

  “Exactly, that’s why I liked it,” I said as I took another step still following the ledge. “Plus, the funny chaos.” He smiled as I followed the ledge’s turn.

  “Maybe next time we’ll see a tragedy, and you might actually enjoy it,” He offered. I snorted.

  “Maybe,” I sighed. “But I see enough tragedy on a daily basis. So, don’t get upset if I don’t.” I looked down at him. He was looking at the snow-covered buildings with unfocused eyes. “Speaking of tragedies,” I said. He blinked then looked up at me. “What happened with you and Autumn?” I asked gently. He took a deep breath then let it out slowly.

  “I told her I wasn’t happy with the on and off relationship we’ve had for the last year,” He said matter-of-factly. “I asked if she was willing to stay in a relationship with me. She pointed out how much time we’d spend flying to see each other, and that we both have other things we need to do instead.” He shrugged. “So, we broke it off.” My eyebrows shot up.

  “Mutually, as in you both agreed? Just like that?” I asked, stunned. I have never heard of a breakup being mutual before.

  “Well, it wasn’t easy. It was painful, for both of us,” He explained. “But I wasn’t getting what I needed from the relationship, and she hadn’t been either. In the end, we both agreed that it would be better if that part of our relationship was over.”

  “Are you two going to still play games?” I asked, hesitating to mention it. Miles warm eyes met mine.

  “Yes, we’re still going to talk and game together. We were a big part of each other’s lives for the last four years. She’s one of my best friends, and that isn’t going to change,” He said, simply. I ran my eyes over his face. He really did seem alright with it.

  “So, no tragedy?” I asked, hoping to make him smile. It worked, the butterflies went crazy.

  “No tragedy. Just an end.” His gaze ran over me. “Speaking of ends, how are you doing with the whole Dylan situation?” He asked, gently.

  “I’m doing great, now if he’d just leave me alone,” I said, my voice showing my irritation. He chuckled. “I get that he made a mistake and that he regrets breaking up with me which I understand.” I shook my head as I looked down at the ledge carefully placing my feet as I continued. “He said some messed up shit to me. He hurt me on purpose and that, I don’t understand. That I can't forgive.” I caught Miles frowning out of the corner of my eye.

>   “Lexie, have I-”

  “Miles,” I stopped walking to look over at him. “You’ve never hurt me, not even on accident.” The worry in his eyes started to clear. “You never would.” He nodded, agreeing with me. I smiled at him before hopping off the flower bed to the ground. He pulled me closer with my hand until I was looking up at him.

  “Dylan is an idiot,” He said, his voice soft as his eyes ran over my face. “He doesn’t deserve someone as incredible as you.” Warmth poured through me from my heart, making even the cold breeze seem like nothing.

  “Believe me, I know,” I said as I smirked up at him. He smiled as a big snowflake landed on his glasses. I looked up to see the sky full of big falling flakes. I closed my eyes, smiling as they hit my face. I loved it when snow fell, it filled the air with magic and for just a little while it made anything seem possible. I looked back at Miles who was still smiling. His eyes were bright as they met mine, the rest of the world faded into the distance. Grinning, he reached over to wipe the melting snow off my cheek. My sweet, brilliant, handsome Miles. His gloved fingers slowed as they moved along my cheekbone, heat growing in his eyes. My heart raced. What would his lips feel like? There was a slow, low, hard flip in my stomach. My eyes went to his lips, I wanted to know. I really wanted to know. Should I...? Before I did something stupid, I stepped back, letting go of his hand as I focused on looking at the buildings on campus. I took a deep breath. Shit! Wasn’t it bad enough I had a crush on Asher? I had to feel this way about Miles too? What was wrong with me lately? I noticed Miles cleaning his glasses out of the corner of my eye. It gave me a chance to get myself back under control. I swallowed hard, my mind was blank. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

  “W-we should head to the car,” Miles’ voice was quiet but deeper than usual. Please tell me he didn’t notice me drooling over him.

  “Yeah, it’s getting late,” I agreed, putting a smile on my face before looking up at him again. Miles was looking everywhere but at me, his ears pink. FUCK! He noticed. I felt like panicking, then I remembered it was Miles. He wouldn’t say anything. He’d never ask about it or even mention it. I didn’t know whether to be happy about that or disappointed. We headed back toward the car. Walking quietly, too quietly, damn it. “Thank you for bringing me to the play.”

  “Of course.”

  The drive was also quiet, but not uncomfortably so. I was running around in my head trying to figure out what the hell was going on with me and Miles seemed distracted himself. So, there was no pressure to talk during the hour-long drive home.

  Miles pulled up to my house. Okay Lexie, say goodnight and get out of here before you do something stupid.

  “I had fun tonight, Miles,” I said cheerfully. “Thank you.” Miles' ears turned pink.

  “You’re welcome,” He said, quietly as he shut off the car. “Let me walk you inside.”

  “You don’t...” I didn’t bother to finish my sentence, he was already getting out of the car. I sighed and got out before he could open my door for me. My heart was racing as I met him at the walkway. I glared at the ghosts on the lawn, for once they stayed back. Miles put his hand on my lower back, sending hot shivers through me as we walked to the door. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, pretending I wasn’t as tense a guitar string.

  Miles stepped just inside the door. The great room was empty. Rory had probably gone to bed. Great, Miles didn’t bother to close the door. I took off my jacket and hung it up by the door before turning to him. I gave him a big smile.

  “See, I’m inside,” I teased him. I was trying to hide my nerves from him, but he probably noticed. He noticed everything.

  “Thanks for trying the play, Lexie,” He said uncertainly.

  “I had fun,” I usually gave him a hug good-bye. I stepped closer to give him his hug. He opened his arms and slid them around me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. Wintergreen filled my lungs as my body flipped low and hard. Damn it, Lexie. “Thanks again Miles,” I said, my check against his chest. I didn’t know what else to say right now.

  “You’re very welcome,” He replied, his voice soft. His arms loosened and we stepped back from each other. “Good night.” He turned and went out the door. I locked it behind him. My heart was hammering. Damn it, how the hell was I going to deal with this? I pushed it out of my head and went upstairs with Hades following. Lying down on my bed next to Hades I closed my eyes.

  I dropped down to my center almost immediately. It was only a split second before I was standing in the Veil. The sky boiled above, still angry and green. Tonight, I didn’t waste time. I sat down in the dirt and concentrated. I thought of the guys, we were in the living room at Miles’ house and playing Munchkin again because I refused to lose to Isaac. The others were helping by using every curse or poison card they had on Isaac. By the end, Miles had won, and Isaac’s character was naked. It was a fun night, I remembered that peace that I had felt that night. My barriers dropped hard. When I was ready, I opened my eyes. That shimmering gold dome was there, I took a deep breath and focused on pushing that wall out. I watched as it moved across the Veil. My body was dry, cracked, dying of thirst, I accepted that the Veil was dying, I accepted that this was how the Veil felt at this moment as I pushed my will further. I reached the edges. I looked up at the smoky walls of the Veil, time to climb. I imagined that shimmer climbing the walls, I needed to reach the sky. The golden shimmer rose up the walls. I gasped as I touched the fog closing the Veil off. It felt gross, like black tar clinging to you, only it wasn’t tar. It was made of menace, and... anger. Whoever had done this was furious about something, and they used that to close off the Veil. It filled my mind as I pushed higher. I was halfway up when I couldn’t take it and started to fight against the anger, to push back against it and instantly lost focus. The shimmer slammed back to me almost knocking me backwards. Gasping, I sat there and eyed the walls, I got half way up. I thought about trying again, but I could feel how tired I was. I left the Veil troubled that night.

  I was half asleep when my phone vibrated on my desk. Grumbling I reached over and found it.

  Secret Admirer: How was your night?

  It took me a few blinks to read it and realize who it was. I checked the time, it was almost midnight.

  Alexis: Tiring but good. I was asleep when you texted. If this comes out as gibberish, it’s your fault.

  Secret Admirer: Sorry, I was just laying here and wondered how your day was.

  Alexis: Its fine, how was yours?

  Secret Admirer: Great, I got to text with you.

  I sighed. I didn’t need to be hit on in the middle of the night.

  Alexis: That’s sweet. But I’m really tired and falling asleep as I type.

  Secret Admirer: Go back to sleep. Sweet dreams.

  I put the phone down and rolled back over to cuddle with Hades. I wasn’t awake for much longer.

  Chapter 4

  Saturday Morning

  I managed to block Maddie’s punch and struck back with my own. I made light contact to her stomach. Not enough to hurt, just enough to sting, she grunted. Then she moved in, I instantly moved back and circled breathing heavily. I learned early to never let Maddie get close, she liked to grapple, and I wasn’t that great at it yet. My best bet was to keep out of arms reach. Sweat was pouring off me as I eyed her, she was breathing heavy too, good. At least I was making her work for it. I planned my attack and moved in fast. I feinted a swing at her

  jaw, she blocked it. Then I threw an uppercut and I made contact. She growled through her mouth piece as I moved back again.

  “Good feint, Lexie,” Dave called from the side of the octagon. “Maddie, don’t be timid. Go after her.” Maddie reversed her circle and started coming closer. I kept moving to avoid getting cornered. Maddie came in hard, I didn’t move fast enough. She moved in close and tried to grab me. I grabbed her wrist on my shoulder and brought my other elbow to her head with a thud. It wasn’t full strength, but it was jarring enoug
h I slipped out of her grip. Maddie cursed but didn’t back off. She landed a hit to my side, the smack was loud. I grunted as I moved back feeling the sting. I backed up a few steps and circled Maddie, she wasn’t playing around anymore. Alright, fine by me. I moved in. I swung, jabbed, kicked but she blocked it all.  She started pushing back, I countered. I didn’t retreat, but I couldn’t move forward. I blocked, dodged, and slipped her moves. I was holding out as long as I could. Finally she snapped. I made a swing, she dodged by bringing her head down around my waist, she shoved with her shoulder as her hands grabbed the back of my knees and pulled, I went down hard. She followed me down landing on her knees between my legs, her head on my stomach. The air knocked out of me, I was stunned as Maddie moved to my side and dropped her bodyweight over my chest. I tried to counter as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders, the other around my ribs. I cursed when I realized Maddie already locked her hands. I tried to bridge my hips, but she just pressed her weight more on my chest. I didn’t know how to get out of a side control hold, I was screwed.

  “Shit,” I gasped as I went limb in her arms.

  “Tapping out?” Maddie asked with her mouth piece still in.

  “Tapping out,” I grumbled. Maddie got to her feet and helped me up, she was a spunky girl who I had just started sparring with this month. Her black hair was shoulder length and back in a braid. Her brown eyes were smiling, and she took off her gloves and pulled out her mouth piece.

  “That elbow to the head rattled me,” Maddie admitted as we both made our way out of the practice ring and to Dave’s side.